My mom received this story from Gabi Benel. Thanks Gabi.
I remember taking the Alpine Skiing teaching exam with Tom. Every day, Tom would give me a ride to the exam at Highlands. His jeep would pull up in my driveway in Basalt, Tom driving and John Palmer in the passenger seat. Both Tom and John would be swilling their homemade “stay healthy” juice, some acrid concoction of grass, vegetables, vitamins, and who knows what else. John swore that it was only that and women that kept him healthy. I was in the backseat trying to survive the putrid smell. Tom and John had the timing of the drive to Highlands from Basalt down perfectly – they knew that if we reached the intercept lot at the exact right moment, we were golden for getting to Highlands on time. We pushed the need for this exact timing more and more every day, as we would arrive closer and closer to the designated meeting time for the exam.
Despite his intricate knowledge of the timing of the route, Tom would never fail to miss the turn for Highlands at the roundabout every single day. And every single day, John would give him hell for it. I sat doubled over in laughter as John and Tom would hurl insults back and forth as we made a full loop around the traffic circle so that we could retry the right turn up the hill. Without fail, by the time we made it up to the parking lot, both John and Tom would be on to talking about some other topic, John about what Carbondale was like twenty years ago, and Tom about the new beautiful home he was working on.
I can’t believe that they are both now gone. I miss both intensely, especially their love for life and their families. I think I’ll stay away from that disgusting wheat juice , but I hope to emulate Tom’s values and amazing attitude.
-Gabi Benel
Monday, April 5, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
English in Action
As many of you know, for many decades my dad was a very active volunteer for many non profit organizations. For the last couple of years one of those organizations was English in Action here in the Roaring Fork Valley. Many times he expressed how much he had learned from his "student", Ignacio, who improved Dad's Spanish maybe as much as Dad improved Ignacio's English. It was something that Dad was very dedicated to and looked forword to every week. I got a very nice e-mail from English in Action that they wanted to share on the blog:
Hi Emily,
We were so sad to learn of your father’s death. Tom was a volunteer for English In Action and I thought I would send the following to post on the blog if you would like to.
For the past year and a half Tom has been a volunteer tutor for English In Action, a program to help immigrant adults learn English and participate more fully in our community. He will be remembered with gratitude and admiration by our staff. We didn’t know Tom well, but he impressed us with his kind spirit and thoughtful nature. Tom was incredibly generous with his time and made a tremendous difference in the life of his student, Ignacio. Ignacio and Tom had been meeting with since September 2008. Ignacio lost his vision to glaucoma six or seven years ago. He lives in Basalt with his wife and daughters, but was quite isolated due to his blindness and the fact that his English was limited. Each week Tom would take Ignacio to the library, Basalt Town Hall or the English In Action office for his lessons. The chance to spend time away from home was very important to Ignacio. Ignacio’s English improved dramatically through his time with Tom and the companionship that Tom offered him was invaluable. Ignacio tells us that Tom had such a positive attitude and was always willing to help him. Tom showed a great deal creativity in his ability to help Ignacio learn English, even though he could not use books or traditional teaching methods with him. We know that Tom volunteered for other organizations and we believed he made a substantial difference in the lives of people throughout our community.
Sincerely,
Lara Beaulieu, Liz Penzel and Chris Palasz
The staff of English In Action
Hi Emily,
We were so sad to learn of your father’s death. Tom was a volunteer for English In Action and I thought I would send the following to post on the blog if you would like to.
For the past year and a half Tom has been a volunteer tutor for English In Action, a program to help immigrant adults learn English and participate more fully in our community. He will be remembered with gratitude and admiration by our staff. We didn’t know Tom well, but he impressed us with his kind spirit and thoughtful nature. Tom was incredibly generous with his time and made a tremendous difference in the life of his student, Ignacio. Ignacio and Tom had been meeting with since September 2008. Ignacio lost his vision to glaucoma six or seven years ago. He lives in Basalt with his wife and daughters, but was quite isolated due to his blindness and the fact that his English was limited. Each week Tom would take Ignacio to the library, Basalt Town Hall or the English In Action office for his lessons. The chance to spend time away from home was very important to Ignacio. Ignacio’s English improved dramatically through his time with Tom and the companionship that Tom offered him was invaluable. Ignacio tells us that Tom had such a positive attitude and was always willing to help him. Tom showed a great deal creativity in his ability to help Ignacio learn English, even though he could not use books or traditional teaching methods with him. We know that Tom volunteered for other organizations and we believed he made a substantial difference in the lives of people throughout our community.
Sincerely,
Lara Beaulieu, Liz Penzel and Chris Palasz
The staff of English In Action
Friday, March 26, 2010
We Miss You!
It's still hard to believe that we are having to write a message marking Uncle Tommy's death. No circumstances make this any easier for family and friends. I'm glad to know he's not in pain anymore and finally at peace, but I'm sad for my family and all his friends that he left behind as we are all the ones to feel the loss. And what a great loss he is. I can honestly say I've never known a funnier more silly person in my life and I'm proud to say that I was related to him too! It's all the odditites, sillies, and funnies of memories that bring a smile to my face when I think of him, and I'm glad I don't have to lose those memories along with him. May everyone find comfort in their memories and never forget him! Love, Sandi and the rest of the Cox Clan
From his Big Sister, Gail
My Brother
Brilliant, gifted, funny, hard working, giving, philosophical and kind - that was my little brother.
I always felt that Tommy more than lived up to his middle name - was a larger-than-fiction, real life, Peter Pan. With a twinkle in his eye and filled with mischief to his very core, the rules of everyday living simply did not apply to him! His greatest gift was transforming this ordinary world into his very own Never Land…work or play, every day brought a new adventure that he shared with everyone around him. Growing up, but never growing old – he departed this world way too young.
Big Sister Memories:
-A little boy with buzzed hair, bunny teeth and a bulging pocketful of parts – Tommy name each one! One favored item that he carried faithfully for months he named his “bicycle stawnker.” Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to the actual piece of equipment he so lovingly nurtured!
-My sister, Karen, and I dressing him up in our dresses and Easter hats..his hair didn’t help the look!
-Principal’s office, St. Anne’s Catholic School in Salt Lake City, UT. My little brother sitting on a bench next to the door, a devilish grin on his sweet, innocent face. Sister Coronoa, an ill-tempered little gnome of a nun, scolding me with her molasses-thick Irish brogue because Tommy had brought the Playgirl of the Month centerfold to share with his first grade buddies – why ever not????!!!
-Trying to convince my 3-year-old son, Chris, that he didn’t own an imaginary dog named Grover and that his name was not Fred Delbert – even though his teen hero, Uncle Tommy, had convinced him that those were the facts. Chris and his brothers and sister joined Uncle Tommy’s legion of followers at very young ages, participating in adventures that I’m glad I didn’t hear about until they were fully grown!!!
-Flying to Lake Tahoe to celebrate Tommy and Jana’s wedding - how lucky was this Peter to find his real life Wendy?!! Who else could have lovingly persisted through every adventure - Tommy truly had the luck of his Irish ancestors when he found Jana.
-Remodeling my too-small house after the surprise arrival of our twin boys – Tommy coming to the rescue and spouting his immortal phrase, “Don’t worry, I can do it in a day!”
-Following my niece, nephew and kids as Tommy lead our families on yet another adventure – always knowing that the next time we were together, there would be a smile at the end.
There is a hole in my heart since you left, Tommy – I love you.
Brilliant, gifted, funny, hard working, giving, philosophical and kind - that was my little brother.
I always felt that Tommy more than lived up to his middle name - was a larger-than-fiction, real life, Peter Pan. With a twinkle in his eye and filled with mischief to his very core, the rules of everyday living simply did not apply to him! His greatest gift was transforming this ordinary world into his very own Never Land…work or play, every day brought a new adventure that he shared with everyone around him. Growing up, but never growing old – he departed this world way too young.
Big Sister Memories:
-A little boy with buzzed hair, bunny teeth and a bulging pocketful of parts – Tommy name each one! One favored item that he carried faithfully for months he named his “bicycle stawnker.” Your guess is as good as mine when it comes to the actual piece of equipment he so lovingly nurtured!
-My sister, Karen, and I dressing him up in our dresses and Easter hats..his hair didn’t help the look!
-Principal’s office, St. Anne’s Catholic School in Salt Lake City, UT. My little brother sitting on a bench next to the door, a devilish grin on his sweet, innocent face. Sister Coronoa, an ill-tempered little gnome of a nun, scolding me with her molasses-thick Irish brogue because Tommy had brought the Playgirl of the Month centerfold to share with his first grade buddies – why ever not????!!!
-Trying to convince my 3-year-old son, Chris, that he didn’t own an imaginary dog named Grover and that his name was not Fred Delbert – even though his teen hero, Uncle Tommy, had convinced him that those were the facts. Chris and his brothers and sister joined Uncle Tommy’s legion of followers at very young ages, participating in adventures that I’m glad I didn’t hear about until they were fully grown!!!
-Flying to Lake Tahoe to celebrate Tommy and Jana’s wedding - how lucky was this Peter to find his real life Wendy?!! Who else could have lovingly persisted through every adventure - Tommy truly had the luck of his Irish ancestors when he found Jana.
-Remodeling my too-small house after the surprise arrival of our twin boys – Tommy coming to the rescue and spouting his immortal phrase, “Don’t worry, I can do it in a day!”
-Following my niece, nephew and kids as Tommy lead our families on yet another adventure – always knowing that the next time we were together, there would be a smile at the end.
There is a hole in my heart since you left, Tommy – I love you.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Lemon Launcher
The lemon launcher was an amazing invention. You take a long narrow piece of PVC pipe and then a short fat one and connect them with a coupling. In the short fat piece you drill and insert an igniter. You then thread the end and tightly screw on a cap. Insert a lemon into the end of the narrow tube, spray a bit of something aerosol and flammable into the short end and then screw on the cap. Hit the igniter and hold on tight! (I will see if I can find photos)
Phill Bogart- I'm going to miss him... even though I didn't get to know him very well, he was great to hang around with the times the families DID get together. I'll never forget his lemon cannon the most. Tommy-made awesomeness. Don't stop hugging your mom and YOU be careful with what you're carrying. K? Doreen & I love you guys.
Lynn Thompson- lemon launcher, hostess ice cream cakes, Mtn Ave Halloween Carnival Prize Booth, dry ice in the pool for Halloween, Dinner on the Pier in Redondo, etc.....
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- Tommy made me a lemon launcher for my 40th b-day..I lauched it out of my back yard in Glendale and broke a window down the street...I still have the launcher..it was purple...shootin that thing nearly took by arm off..I think we used ether to ignite...
Emily Lanigan- I remember that Joann. It was hilarious! And I'm pretty sure you guys ran inside and hid. TROUBLE! :D:D:D:D
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- Yea..I think me and your dad hid in a closet..hehehe. I am going to have to find the photos of me shooting that thing and your dad in the background. I have it...will post soon..meaning in a couple days or so..i am learning how to scan..Whoa watch out..
Allison Maginn- That lemon launcher was awesome. It was somehow "gas" powered and all. It was this really awkward pale purple, too. I remember when they launched that, I laughed so hard I peed my pants. I was 10.
Emily Lanigan- I remember leaving late for your birthday party because the paint hadn't dried yet. He picked those colors out special hahaha
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- I remember that too. H ehanded to me and I said WTF? At first i was taken a back..lke what knd of gift is this..but i have enjoyed it in the desert many times. It was the highlight of the party..Tommy was so proud and excited to give that to me..
Lynn Thompson- Tommy brought one of the launchers to a birthday party. We were launching lemons all over our hills then the cops showed up and confiscated it. The neighbors thought we had a missle launcher. I bet those cops are still playing with it. Too fun!
Kelley Bannon Lashley- I am having lemon launcher flashbacks! God, he was the GREATEST!
Phill Bogart- I'm going to miss him... even though I didn't get to know him very well, he was great to hang around with the times the families DID get together. I'll never forget his lemon cannon the most. Tommy-made awesomeness. Don't stop hugging your mom and YOU be careful with what you're carrying. K? Doreen & I love you guys.
Lynn Thompson- lemon launcher, hostess ice cream cakes, Mtn Ave Halloween Carnival Prize Booth, dry ice in the pool for Halloween, Dinner on the Pier in Redondo, etc.....
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- Tommy made me a lemon launcher for my 40th b-day..I lauched it out of my back yard in Glendale and broke a window down the street...I still have the launcher..it was purple...shootin that thing nearly took by arm off..I think we used ether to ignite...
Emily Lanigan- I remember that Joann. It was hilarious! And I'm pretty sure you guys ran inside and hid. TROUBLE! :D:D:D:D
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- Yea..I think me and your dad hid in a closet..hehehe. I am going to have to find the photos of me shooting that thing and your dad in the background. I have it...will post soon..meaning in a couple days or so..i am learning how to scan..Whoa watch out..
Allison Maginn- That lemon launcher was awesome. It was somehow "gas" powered and all. It was this really awkward pale purple, too. I remember when they launched that, I laughed so hard I peed my pants. I was 10.
Emily Lanigan- I remember leaving late for your birthday party because the paint hadn't dried yet. He picked those colors out special hahaha
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- I remember that too. H ehanded to me and I said WTF? At first i was taken a back..lke what knd of gift is this..but i have enjoyed it in the desert many times. It was the highlight of the party..Tommy was so proud and excited to give that to me..
Lynn Thompson- Tommy brought one of the launchers to a birthday party. We were launching lemons all over our hills then the cops showed up and confiscated it. The neighbors thought we had a missle launcher. I bet those cops are still playing with it. Too fun!
Kelley Bannon Lashley- I am having lemon launcher flashbacks! God, he was the GREATEST!
From Facebook
I have coppied and pasted the following from Facebook:
Brigette April Burdo-Cardenas My heart goes out to you and your famy now during this difficult time! There are no such things as comforting words during times like this... Just know my thoughts are with you! You're dad was always one of those "cool" dads that was fun to be around even when we were "know-it-all" teenagers :)
Alison Berryman- Tommy was special - I'm so sorry, Emily. My favorite moment was when we came home from a night out in Aspen, and your dad was on the floor attempting to "bond" with Poncho. And a funny quote, I'll never stop laughing about - "Oh, a beagle with a heart murmur.... PERFECT!" I think you had to be there.
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- I love you more today than yesterday
Emily Lanigan- Oh, me too. Me too. And Spiral Staircase :D Do you remember when you an my dad took a bunch of us girls to see Paula Abdul. And then in the middle of grid lock traffice on the way out of the forum, you leaned over and laid on the horn and then ducked hahahahahahahahahahahha
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- I used to do that with Michael..when we would be in griffith park on Commonwealth, where all the gay boys would hang out looking for hook ups...you know to have sex in the bushes and stuff like that, well I would honk and duck..I would laugh so hard..I would pee my pants..Michael didn't think it was so funny..He didn't have a sense of humor that way. So i tried it wih my new husband (yes the gay boys still hang up there) and Greg (my new husband) thought it was hillarious!!!LOL..I love my new husband!!!!! LOL..
Emily Lanigan- "Trolling" is what my dad always called what they were doing hahaha. I love it!
Danielle Bannon- Em, I'm so very sorry. Even though our visits were few, your Dad was such a joy to be around. He had the best smile and great taste in food. I remember his visit out in September, he brought out humus, sharp cheddar and crackers and the both of us chowed down together. He will be missed by so many and will always b...e looking over his little girl, Emily from above. xoxoxoxo
Chris Bannon- We lost a great man today and way too soon. A very funny and surprisingly philosophical man (like Jack Handy.) I'll miss My Uncle Tommy. Thank you for my first pair of cowboy boots.............
Anne Bannon Tortomasi- So sorry to hear the news, Chris. He was a great man and will be truly missed. And your right, a very funny man, too! Great stories and great jokes! Send my condolescences to your family.
18 March at 21:37Jeff Bannon I hope I can be half as good an uncle as he was. Thanks for letting me do all things mom wouldn't let me do..............
Chris Bannon- Remember paintballing? Who shot him in the butthole? And he sat there rolling around on the ground moaning. The hurt that kept on hurting!
Chris Bannon- Oh, I forgot....my first oyster shooter too..on my 21st birthday. Hated it then and love it now!
Brigette April Burdo-Cardenas My heart goes out to you and your famy now during this difficult time! There are no such things as comforting words during times like this... Just know my thoughts are with you! You're dad was always one of those "cool" dads that was fun to be around even when we were "know-it-all" teenagers :)
Alison Berryman- Tommy was special - I'm so sorry, Emily. My favorite moment was when we came home from a night out in Aspen, and your dad was on the floor attempting to "bond" with Poncho. And a funny quote, I'll never stop laughing about - "Oh, a beagle with a heart murmur.... PERFECT!" I think you had to be there.
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- I love you more today than yesterday
Emily Lanigan- Oh, me too. Me too. And Spiral Staircase :D Do you remember when you an my dad took a bunch of us girls to see Paula Abdul. And then in the middle of grid lock traffice on the way out of the forum, you leaned over and laid on the horn and then ducked hahahahahahahahahahahha
Joanne Cyr Maginn Doyle- I used to do that with Michael..when we would be in griffith park on Commonwealth, where all the gay boys would hang out looking for hook ups...you know to have sex in the bushes and stuff like that, well I would honk and duck..I would laugh so hard..I would pee my pants..Michael didn't think it was so funny..He didn't have a sense of humor that way. So i tried it wih my new husband (yes the gay boys still hang up there) and Greg (my new husband) thought it was hillarious!!!LOL..I love my new husband!!!!! LOL..
Emily Lanigan- "Trolling" is what my dad always called what they were doing hahaha. I love it!
Danielle Bannon- Em, I'm so very sorry. Even though our visits were few, your Dad was such a joy to be around. He had the best smile and great taste in food. I remember his visit out in September, he brought out humus, sharp cheddar and crackers and the both of us chowed down together. He will be missed by so many and will always b...e looking over his little girl, Emily from above. xoxoxoxo
Chris Bannon- We lost a great man today and way too soon. A very funny and surprisingly philosophical man (like Jack Handy.) I'll miss My Uncle Tommy. Thank you for my first pair of cowboy boots.............
Anne Bannon Tortomasi- So sorry to hear the news, Chris. He was a great man and will be truly missed. And your right, a very funny man, too! Great stories and great jokes! Send my condolescences to your family.
18 March at 21:37Jeff Bannon I hope I can be half as good an uncle as he was. Thanks for letting me do all things mom wouldn't let me do..............
Chris Bannon- Remember paintballing? Who shot him in the butthole? And he sat there rolling around on the ground moaning. The hurt that kept on hurting!
Chris Bannon- Oh, I forgot....my first oyster shooter too..on my 21st birthday. Hated it then and love it now!
Words of Wisedom from Uncle to Nephew
My cousin Christopher Bannon is my dad's eldest nephew. He and my dad shared a very special connection and Chris is the reason that my dad was known as "Uncle Tommy" by so many people starting at age 15.
Last fall, Chris had a tumor removed from his pituitary gland. Chris sent me the following:
I wanted to share some words of wisdom and encouragement from Uncle Tommy he sent to me just before I went in for my surgery to remove the brain tumor. His clarity was so overwhelming I could not delete the email. I thought it fitting to share it now:
Chris,
I have been thinking about you and your upcoming procedure. First I want to wish you the best luck possible. Having had some experiences of my own in my lifetime I have had the opportunity to develop or rather evolve a philosophy that suites me as an individual. Also having a gut full of tumors gives me a different appreciation of the fact that we all are here on more of rental basis as temporary residents rather than owners like we tend to think we are. Our real “home” is more likely where we came from before we are born and where we all return to when we are done living. All of the time between those two events is more like a visit. Sometimes it is going to suck for some of us but for most of us it is a pretty good time. My beliefs are that we are here to engage with other humans and learn to care and love the whole boatload, even the idiots and assholes. The challenge is to be able to do that with the endless number of obstacles that life gives us. I know you have already experienced some of those obstacles and there might be more that you would never choose for yourself and your family, but just like any visitor we don’t get to choose the weather or most of the other circumstances. That’s why there are words like luck and chance. If it helps just try to remember that this short visit here is the gift and whatever challenges we encounter there is the possibility that there is some sort of reason for the crappy ones.”
Good luck,
Uncle Tommy
Last fall, Chris had a tumor removed from his pituitary gland. Chris sent me the following:
I wanted to share some words of wisdom and encouragement from Uncle Tommy he sent to me just before I went in for my surgery to remove the brain tumor. His clarity was so overwhelming I could not delete the email. I thought it fitting to share it now:
Chris,
I have been thinking about you and your upcoming procedure. First I want to wish you the best luck possible. Having had some experiences of my own in my lifetime I have had the opportunity to develop or rather evolve a philosophy that suites me as an individual. Also having a gut full of tumors gives me a different appreciation of the fact that we all are here on more of rental basis as temporary residents rather than owners like we tend to think we are. Our real “home” is more likely where we came from before we are born and where we all return to when we are done living. All of the time between those two events is more like a visit. Sometimes it is going to suck for some of us but for most of us it is a pretty good time. My beliefs are that we are here to engage with other humans and learn to care and love the whole boatload, even the idiots and assholes. The challenge is to be able to do that with the endless number of obstacles that life gives us. I know you have already experienced some of those obstacles and there might be more that you would never choose for yourself and your family, but just like any visitor we don’t get to choose the weather or most of the other circumstances. That’s why there are words like luck and chance. If it helps just try to remember that this short visit here is the gift and whatever challenges we encounter there is the possibility that there is some sort of reason for the crappy ones.”
Good luck,
Uncle Tommy
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